Thursday, January 27, 2011
Patty's Tribute given by John
A Tribute to MOM
By John P. Aldrich
I. Introduction
a. 35th Floor – When times were tough, if you asked Mom how she was, she would say, “I’m at about the 35th floor.”
i. Grandpa had a saying: “Like the man who jumped off a 70-story building said about the 35th floor, ‘so far, so good.’” Mom loved that saying.
ii. I feel like I am at the 35th floor.
b. I will try to capture the essence of Mom and who she is.
II. Mom is wonderfully quirky
a. Mom collects many things:
i. Clocks – the house might remind you of the opening of Disney’s Pinocchio.
ii. Candles – hard for me to understand, because to me, a candle is a candle.
iii. Pillows
iv. Knives
v. Steaks from QVC
vi. Books
vii. Amish quilts
viii. Plants
ix. Purses
x. Pens – Mom has a couple dozen pens, and they are all felt tip.
1. I always hated felt tip pens; Mom always loved them.
2. We also have a bunch of pens by our phone, but what is really annoying is that all of Mom’s pens work.
xi. Friends – everywhere Mom has lived she has made long-term friendships
b. 14309 – Mom had this number that stuck in her head from an early age. We really do not know what it means, but it was fun to speculate about it with her.
c. Folding garbage bags and ironing pillow cases
d. Flashlight wars – When I was a teenager, I would come home from a date to find my parents having flashlight wars. That was a little disconcerting.
e. Punching with thumbs in – Mom would play fight with us, and she would make a fist with her thumb inside her fingers. We would explain to her that if she actually hit someone like that, she would likely break her thumb. She said that did not bother her; she did that to make sure she did not break a nail.
f. Criteria for a town – In early 1990’s they went to Nauvoo, and Mom determined that you knew you had a real town if there was a WalMart and a Pizza Hut.
g. Dishes – Mom would run water and do the dishes for two forks and a cup.
h. Numbers – she loved quirky number things:
i. 12:34 was her favorite time of day; she also liked 11:11
ii. Dates like 1/1/11 or 10/10/10
III. Mom has many sayings. Some from Grandpa, some she came up with over time.
a. Monkey – Whenever we asked how long until something would happen, she would say “Like the monkey said when he got his tail caught in the lawnmower, ‘Won’t be long now.’”
b. As a teenager, when I would ask why I couldn’t do something, she would flatly reply: “Because I said so.”
c. When I would ask why I had to eat carrots even though she did not (she hated carrots), Mom would say: “Because I am the mom.” I use this one all the time, although I say “because I am the dad.”
d. When things got slow around the house and someone was visiting, she would turn to my brother and say: “Turn red Steven.” And he would.
e. Another favorite of Mom’s was “You lie, I’ll swear to it.” She usually threw that one out when you were at the bank trying to cash a check and Mom would claim to be able to “vouch” for you.
f. We loved to get her goat by drinking right out of the faucet. She would always say: “Son, use a cup.” She didn’t like our excuse that we were saving dishes. On the day Mom died, Matt was drinking from the faucet and heard Mom say “Matthew, use a cup.”
g. Can’t remember why, but Mom would often say “Stand up Steven.” Even while Steven was in Finland on his mission Mom would bust out that one every so often. I could just envision Steven in Finland spontaneously standing up.
h. If there was ever a question about whether Mom could do something, she would bust out with: “It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.”
i. When I would complain that I didn’t want to do what she said I had to, Mom would say: “You don’t have to want to.” I use this one myself as well.
j. There was a magnet on the fridge that said: “So it’s not home sweet home….adjust.”
IV. Mom loves to rename people
a. Steven – she started calling him Stevenson in the early 1980’s and it stuck.
b. Dad was renamed Big Guy.
c. Our cousin was renamed Becky Sue.
d. Neighbors – Krisha Marie, Jill Marie and Tina Louise (Tina’s middle name was already Marie).
e. However, we knew we were in trouble if Mom called us by both names: “Steven Wayne,” “John Patrick,” Allison Marie,” or “Matthew David.”
V. Mom loves many things.
a. Football – in particular, the Denver Broncos. BTW, she hated basketball, which was bad because we loved it so much.
b. Shopping
c. Grandkids
d. Custard pie
e. Shopping
f. Orange juice
g. Pie or cake for breakfast
h. The TV show “Beauty and the Beast”
i. Rice pudding
j. Dad
k. Judge Judy
l. Shopping
m. The movie “The American President”
n. Coke with extra ice
o. Grandkids – and her kids too, sometimes (and not nearly as much as the grandkids)
p. Shopping – especially the 3 a.m. trips to ShopKo with Allison on Black Friday.
q. Making faces at my Dad while he was sitting on the stand as the Bishop. We would sit on the back row and she would encourage us all to stick our tongues out at the same time.
r. Roller coasters
s. QVC
t. Dancing with the Stars
u. Education Week at BYU
v. Answering the phone – in the days before caller ID, Mom always seemed excited to find out who was calling.
VI. Everyone was welcome at our house
a. Many friends made our house their second home. Mom would rather we were at home than anywhere else.
b. About three days a week she would make cookies that were conveniently coming out of the oven right as we were getting home from school. It was not uncommon for neighborhood kids to come to our house before they even went home after school.
c. All of us brought large groups of friends to the house and Mom always accommodated, usually with homemade food.
d. It was not uncommon for someone to conveniently show up around dinner time. Mom would inevitably set an additional place at the table and invite them to stay for dinner.
e. The second drawer in the kitchen was the junk food drawer. All the neighborhood kids knew it, and Mom never flinched when we showed up in droves to eat.
f. The bottom shelf in the fridge was the soda shelf (or pop as we called it in IF). Mom kept the shelf stocked with pop, and everyone knew that the rule was we could have one pop per day. Of course we always followed that rule and only took one.
VII. Mom is extremely competitive
a. Not particularly athletic, but competitive.
b. She endlessly cheated at cards.
c. She even cheated at Boggle and checkers.
d. On rare occasions, she would play HORSE with us. She would make some crazy shot, which was total luck, and she would win. I have the distinction of being the only one not to lose to Mom. Maybe I should leave out that I never played her one on one in HORSE.
e. Chicken fight – when Mom and Dad were dating, this obnoxious guy and his girlfriend were beating everyone at chicken fights. Mom and Dad went up against them. The guy kicked Dad in the groin and Dad started to buckle. Mom kicked Dad in the ribs hard enough that he forgot about the groin shot, and Mom dragged the other girl down into the water. She did not like to lose.
f. Race with Dad at Steven’s parent-teacher conference – when Stevenson was in first grade, Mom and Dad went to a parent teacher conference. While they waited on the playground, Mom decided she and Dad should race around this circle. The teacher came out to see them racing around this little circle on the playground. The look on the teacher’s face seemed to say: “Now I understand.”
VIII. Practical things Mom taught me:
a. Mom taught me to cook. We made many things together:
i. Strawberry freezer jam
ii. Canned pickles
iii. Frozen corn
iv. Waffles and pancakes – Mom made her own syrup and Quick Mix
v. Cookies, cakes and brownies
b. Mom taught me to do the dishes – she believed practice makes perfect. We often complained that we did not have a dishwasher. Mom’s response was, “Sure we do, we have four of them.”
c. Mom taught me to vacuum – she vacuumed every day.
d. Mom taught me to make my bed every day. However, much to Mom’s chagrin, during my teenage years, I only made my bed on the first day Grandma and Grandpa came to visit. That was about twice a year.
IX. Fun traditions
a. Saturday morning pancakes – this was often after we went to play ball, and many times we brought back several of the other hungry players
b. Saturday morning in bed with Mom and Dad.
c. Saturday evening tacos – every Saturday night we had tacos. Mom would steam the tortillas. There was something special about Saturday night tacos.
d. Sunday morning waffles.
e. Sunday night bran muffins and pull aparts.
f. Trips to California to see her family.
g. Everything Christmas, in particular cucumbers and bananas – that’s a family secret. BTW, Mom and Grandpa would want you to know that it is only 11 months from today until Christmas.
h. Football, especially the Super Bowl
i. Birthday money – Mom would give us $1 for each year
j. Cinnamon Jolly Ranchers in Sacrament Meeting
k. Cheese pie
l. Cherry pie on Dad’s birthday
m. Apparently I was hungry when I made this list.
X. Funny Stories
a. Meatloaf – Mom was meticulously clean. One Fast Sunday we had meatloaf. It was a little crumpled on the plate, but we didn’t think much of it. We oo’d and ahh’d about it, and Mom said “thank you” over and over, but seemed a little sheepish. It was not until the next night that she told us that the reason she had been sheepish. In that house, the garbage was between the stove and the counter. As she was taking the meatloaf out of the pan, she attempted to pass over the garbage to the plate on the counter. The meatloaf dropped into the garbage, just as we were yelling “it smells so good.” Mom fished the meatloaf out of the garbage and put it on the dinner table.
b. Ward family campout – Mom hated to camp, so to convince her to go, we agreed to buy and blow up a king size air mattress. We did not have a pump, so Dad, Steven and I took turns blowing it up the old fashioned way.
c. She shot Dad – Mom hated it, but Dad used to tell Allison that the big scar on his arm came from Mom. As the story goes, Mom told Dad to marry her. Dad said “no,” so Mom shot him. The next time Mom asked, Dad said “yes.” Allison said she was about 10 years old before she knew Dad was really shot in Viet Nam. Tina, one of our neighbors growing up, informed me that the neighborhood kids thought Mom had shot Dad too. Maybe that is why everyone was so well behaved at our house.
d. Bathroom light – The basement bathroom in the Idaho Falls house had a light switch on the outside. If we were in the bathroom when she came downstairs, she would flip the light off. It did not matter if you were using the bathroom or taking a shower, that light was going off – and once the light went off, she was not turning it back on. The fact that this was annoying to us kids did not faze Mom even a little; in fact, the mischievous laugh each time we protested led me to believe she rather enjoyed it.
e. Flip the light on and off on the way downstairs – In our house, there was a light in the basement that had a switch at the top of the stairs. Mom would flip that light on and off to get our attention. As a teenager, when Amie was over at the house, Mom would flip the light on and off while yelling “I’m coming down” as she came down the stairs to get something from the laundry/storage room. It was amazing to me how much she needed to do in the laundry room between 10:00 and 12:00 on a Friday night.
f. The “wussy hammer.” Mom has this little hammer, which we affectionately call the “wussy hammer.” One night at dinner, when company was over, we were teasing Mom about the “wussy hammer.” Dad commented that the “wussy hammer” could not even break an egg. Mom promptly pulled an egg from the fridge and broke it over Dad’s head with the “wussy hammer.”
g. Super Bowl in 1990 – San Francisco v. Denver. Mom invited my roommates, and we all showed up with a friend, so there were 10-12 of us. Mom told us we could not watch the game on the big TV in the basement unless we were rooting for Denver. So we all watched the game upstairs, and every time San Francisco scored, we stomped on the floor. It sounded like an earthquake in the basement, and San Francisco won 55-10.
h. Mom’s driving – Mom was not always a good driver.
i. Uncle Ron’s Mustang – Mom wrecked Uncle Ron’s 3-day-old 1967 Mustang fast back.
ii. Drove by Braille – Mom did not always see well at night. She joked that she drove by Braille.
iii. She passed that driving ability on to Allison.
iv. Her lack of driving acumen was interesting, particularly because her two brothers are real-life race car drivers.
i. Piano bench – Perhaps my favorite story happened when we went on vacation to Oklahoma for a family reunion just before my mission. Our whole family and Amie (7 total) drove out there in a Dodge Caravan (not the large one). Mom and Aunt Sherry found an antique piano bench that Mom just had to have. She bought the piano bench, despite the fact that there was nowhere to put it, and despite the fact that no one in our family played the piano and we did not own a piano. Mom then explained to us that we would each pick out two outfits, plus what we were wearing, and mail our clothes back to Idaho Falls so we could get the piano bench home. Amie was not thrilled with this plan. Ultimately, we tied that piano bench on the roof in true hillbilly style. And of course it rained cats and dogs on that antique piano bench, but it made it home.
XI. Mom has such a great heart and always did the right thing.
a. My laundry – Mom did laundry every day. When I was in 7th grade, I was bad about putting my clothes away. Mom told me that if I did not put my clothes away each day, she would charge me $1. Unfortunately, the only money I had was lunch money. After about two weeks of taking my lunch money away, Mom gave up and just decided not to fold my laundry any more.
b. Does he hit you? – When Amie and I were dating, something happened and I accidently hit her in the face. Amie wrote a note that said something like “I love you even though you hit me” as a joke. Mom came across that note. She approached Amie and asked her if I was hitting her and asked Amie to promise to tell her the truth. Amie explained it was a joke and Mom and Amie had a good laugh. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for Mom to ask that question, but she did because it was the right thing to do.
c. Allison with bottle – When Allison was little, Mom decided it was time for Allison to be done drinking from a bottle (which she called her “bottle go”). After a few days, Mom and Allison were saying Allison’s bedtime prayers. Allison prayed that she would get her “bottle go” back. Mom walked out of the room and on her way to the kitchen told Dad that Allison was getting her prayer answered immediately.
XII. Sacrifice – Moms sacrifice so much just getting us here. Mom sacrificed much throughout her life. I cannot do her justice, but one example of her willingness to sacrifice happened when I was about 10 or 11. I liked to kick a football. I did not have a tee, so I needed someone to hold the ball for me. Mom came outside for about an hour and held the ball for me. She had a hurt back, but she did not complain. A day or two later I overheard her telling Dad that she thought I had broken her finger while she held a ball. She never complained to me about it.
XIII. Mom did not judge anyone – There are many in the room who know this to be true. If you needed something, Mom was willing to help without judging you. This was true even if your situation was your own darn fault. Mom was there for you.
XIV. Mom gave practical advice.
a. When I would forget what I was doing, Mom would say: “Go back to where you were.” Inevitably, I would go back and remember what I was doing.
b. One time a neighbor came over and was upset by a book she had read that intimated that the neighbor was not a good parent. The neighbor asked Mom what she should do, and knowing this neighbor was a great person, Mom replied: “Read a different book.”
c. As kids, we would say “It hurts when I do this.” Mom would reply, “Then don’t do that.”
XV. Mom has a deep spiritual basis that she has passed on to her children.
a. In the Book of Mormon we learn about 2000 Stripling Warriors. These were 2000 warriors who fought for their liberty. This story teaches us how much influence mothers can have in our lives:
i. In Alma 56:47-48 we read:
1. Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
2. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.
ii. Following the examples of their mothers, these 2000 Stripling Warriors were victorious, and none of them died in battle.
b. Mom taught us gospel principles, practical tools to be successful in life, and how to never quit. We learned not to fear, but to keep going. These lessons are not lost on us.
c. Mom has amazing faith.
i. Mom and Dad joined the church at a young age and never wavered.
ii. Dad was called as Bishop about 13 years after they were baptized. What a challenge that must have been for both of them.
iii. Dad used to say that how that happened was that President Richardson looked at the ward and located the most Christ-like individual in the ward – and then he called her husband to be Bishop.
iv. Mom made a commitment some time back around 1980 that she would read at least one chapter in the Book of Mormon every day. She did not miss a day after that. During her illness, Dad read to her each day.
v. This scripture reading streak lasted through her own three-month-long battle with hepatitis in about 1982, the death of my sister, Allison, and umpteen other excellent excuses for missing a day. Even after Allison died, Mom never wavered. She kept the faith and endured to the end.
vi. Mom worked tirelessly in the Church. She served in Relief Society presidencies, Young Women’s Presidencies, Primary presidencies, and about any capacity you can think of. She loved those whom she served, and with whom she served. Her example was truly Christ-like.
XVI. Thank you:
a. From Caleb, for letting me pull weeds and then deciding to pay me for it even though I did not finish.
b. From Hayden, for always being in a good mood, no matter what.
c. From Tyler, for playing card games and giving us yummy treats.
d. From Ellie, for taking me shopping and getting pedicures together.
e. From Seth, for playing games with us, even when she cheated.
f. From Ethan, for playing games like Go Fish with us.
g. From Luke, for coming to our house to have fun with us.
h. For being a hero. You married a man who was a war hero, and you turned him into someone who is a true hero. You stuck with Dad through Viet Nam, being shot and his long recovery, several knee and ankle surgeries, blood clots, and the list goes on. Dad deserved someone to cherish him like you did, and he returned the sentiment. You are a hero to Dad, to your children and grandchildren, and to all of us who know and love you.
i. For having our back. All who know you have experienced this. You protected us when we needed it most.
j. For always doing the right thing. By seeing your example, it makes it easier for us to do the right thing.
k. For all those hugs and kisses. There was an abundance of hugs and kisses. We have always known we are loved.
l. For fighting these last few weeks. You fought the good fight. We wish you were here, but we are glad you have peace.
m. For teaching us about Jesus Christ through your example and testimony. We all have a better understanding of who Jesus Christ is because we have the pleasure and privilege to know you.
n. For living a life that makes it possible for us to be together forever. We know that we can and will be together forever. We know that you are hanging out with Allison, Grandma and Grandpa, and many others whom you and we love.
o. I saw a saying the other day: “To the world, you are just a mom, but to your family, you are the world.” You are our world, and our world is great because of you.
XVII. Mom, you are the perfect wife for Dad, the perfect Mom for Stevenson, Rema, Allison, Matthew, Amie and me, and the perfect grandmother to Caleb, Hayden, Tyler, Ellie, Seth, Ethan and Luke. You are a wonderful sister to Ron, Steve, and Sherry. You are a fabulous friend to those who have had the privilege to know you. You taught us what it is like to know our Savior, Jesus Christ.
XVIII. We love you and miss you – and we forgive you. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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